Lionel's Eulogy

We all have only one life to live and Alexis had to live the life of a disabled person. As parents we did not feel sorry for ourselves but I would often look at Alexis and be sad that “she” is the one living that life. Alexis on the other hand was oblivious to her inabilities and ready to live life to the fullest. She walked with an off-balance gait but the pigeons at Trafalgar square wouldn’t know it as they were chased into flight. She was profoundly deaf but loved musicals from Bollywood to Broadway, surfing the net to play the drawn out ending of Defying Gravity from Wicked, over and over again, with short cuts on the computer that none of us could figure out. She was visually impaired but would notice a hair style across the room that she would have to imitate. Before you knew it, she would slip a hairband off someone’s pony-tail and weave it into her own hair and compliment them with “I like your hair”. We are so fortunate that we could provide Alexis with exposure and opportunity, which was all she needed to take on a new challenge with diligence, perseverance and an uncanny knack of endearing herself to everyone. She was embarrassingly honest. If you had crooked teeth, it was said right away but it was followed with “I like your grey matter”.

The best gift she had was her sense of humor. Her wit was both funny and quick, born of total innocence, no malice and unconditional love. Last Fall, we were at the Billings Farm in Vermont listening to a docent tell us about chickens. The docent brought out a beautiful bird for us to feel. As Alexis touched it’s feathery leg, she said “Mama I hungry, I want a chicken leg”. At 25 she was still our baby. I just loved to cuddle and kiss her and am so glad I did it even though I could tell it bugged her a bit. She was my errand buddy, riding around with me, playing the same Bollywood or High-School musical CD over and over again, deftly skipping tracks to hear the songs she loved. She and I got into a silliness that we both enjoyed. While spicy food was her favorite she did love egg-plant. One evening Deb happened to be making egg-plant and had a purple dress on. Alexis said, purple just like egg-plant. I said that is not Mom, it is Barney! So we made up an egg-plant song. The very last time that we waited in the car for her morning bus she said Dad sing the egg-plant song. So I did and it went: I love you, you love me, we’re a vegetable family, with a great big bite and a little taste of you, won’t you fill my tummy too! I will always remember her “funny” with total enjoyment and laughter when I finished. A year ago I was at a First Communion mass and the priest asked the kids to think of 3 things they would say to Jesus. I thought to myself, when my time comes, the first would be “Thank you for a wonderful life”, the second would be “Please look after Alexis on earth ….," I just could not get to the third one.  Now, Alexis is in heaven to say it for me.